Ruth Series: Discerning God's Will (Ruth 3)

Discerning God’s Will

At that time, Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you so you will be secure. Now Boaz, with whose female servants you worked, is our close relative. Look, tonight he is winnowing barley at the threshing floor. So bathe yourself, rub on some perfumed oil, and get dressed up. Then go down to the threshing floor. But don’t let the man know you’re there until he finishes his meal. When he gets ready to go to sleep, take careful notice of the place where he lies down. Then go, uncover his legs, and lie down beside him. He will tell you what you should do.” Ruth replied to Naomi, “I will do everything you have told me to do.” So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law had instructed her to do. When Boaz had finished his meal and was feeling satisfied, he lay down to sleep at the far end of the grain heap. Then Ruth crept up quietly, uncovered his legs, and lay down beside him. In the middle of the night he was startled and turned over. Now he saw a woman lying beside him! He said, “Who are you?” She replied, “I am Ruth, your servant. Marry your servant, for you are a guardian of the family interests.” He said, “May you be rewarded by the Lord, my dear! This act of devotion is greater than what you did before. For you have not sought to marry one of the young men, whether rich or poor. Now, my dear, don’t worry! I intend to do for you everything you propose, for everyone in the village knows that you are a worthy woman. Now yes, it is true that I am a guardian, but there is another guardian who is a closer relative than I am. Remain here tonight. Then in the morning, if he agrees to marry you, fine, let him do so. But if he does not want to do so, I promise, as surely as the Lord lives, to marry you. Sleep here until morning.” So she slept beside him until morning. She woke up while it was still dark. Boaz thought, “No one must know that a woman visited the threshing floor.” Then he said, “Hold out the shawl you are wearing and grip it tightly.” As she held it tightly, he measured out about sixty pounds of barley into the shawl and put it on her shoulders. Then he went into town, and she returned to her mother-in-law. When Ruth returned to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, “How did things turn out for you, my daughter?” Ruth told her about all the man had done for her. She said, “He gave me these sixty pounds of barley, for he said to me, ‘Do not go to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’” Then Naomi said, “Stay put, my daughter, until you know how the matter turns out. For the man will not rest until he has taken care of the matter today.”

Ruth 3:1–18 (NET)

How can we discern God’s will? Where does God want us to live, what job should we take, who should we marry? In Ruth 3, Naomi and Ruth are both poor widows, trying to survive in Israel. Naomi is Ruth’s mother-in-law. In Israel, God provided a work for welfare program, where the poor could harvest the left-over grain of farmers, and Ruth provided for herself and her mother-in-law through that generous system. However, the harvest season would soon end, and it would be more difficult to provide for themselves. Therefore, Naomi came up with a plan for her daughter-in-law, Ruth, to potentially marry Boaz. Ruth had been working in his field for probably weeks, and he had graciously provided for her and Naomi. In Ruth 3:1, Naomi says, “My daughter, I must find a home for you so you will be secure.” The word “secure” can also be translated “rest” (cf. Ruth 1:9). By getting married, Ruth would find rest from worrying about her daily bread. She would have a permanent home and the potential of having a child. In that ancient culture, childlessness was often viewed as a source of shame and divine disfavor (Gen 30:11, 1 Sam 1:6). In addition, by Ruth getting married, it would have provided safety and protection for Naomi as well. Therefore, Naomi came up with a plan to provide for Ruth through marriage. She didn’t know if it was God’s will, but by moving forward with this plan, she would be able to discern if it was.

As we consider Naomi and Ruth’s process of discerning God’s will, we don’t see any angels or direct revelations from God, saying, “This is the way! Walk in it!” and this is normal in discerning God’s will. Most times, God doesn’t guide us through dramatic means. Instead, he typically uses ordinary means to guide us into his perfect will for our lives. How do we discern God’s will? As we look at Ruth 3, we will consider principles about discerning God’s will for our lives. We will also consider a few practical implications for finding a godly person to marry.

Big Question: What principles about discerning God’s will and finding a godly person to marry can we gain from Ruth 3?

To Discern God’s Will, We Must Consider God’s Providence Over Circumstances

At that time, Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you so you will be secure. Now Boaz, with whose female servants you worked, is our close relative. Look, tonight he is winnowing barley at the threshing floor.

Ruth 3:1-2

As mentioned, when Naomi considered their desperate circumstance, and Ruth’s specifically, she began to pursue a way for Ruth to be married. It was common for parents to arrange marriages in that culture, and though Naomi was not Ruth’s biological parent, she took on that covenant responsibility. However, who would marry Ruth? She was a Moabite, and people often looked at foreigners with suspicion. In Deuteronomy 23:6, God commanded Jews to not seek the peace and prosperity of the Moabites because of how they treated Israel during their wilderness journey. Plus, early in the judges stage, the Moabites oppressed the Jews for eighteen years (Judges 3). Though Ruth was probably young and attractive, many Jewish men would probably not consider her. Therefore, how would Naomi find a husband for her?

Though Naomi and Ruth were in desperate circumstances, it was clear that God was at work. In Ruth 1, instead of allowing Naomi to move back to Israel from Moab alone, Ruth decided to follow her mother-in-law, support her, and commit to the God of Israel. That decision came at great cost to Ruth. She could have lived with her mother and father and more easily found a husband in Moab. However, she left everything to care for her mother-in-law, even being willing to be poor in Israel. Though Naomi tried to get Ruth to stay in Moab, Ruth’s faith was in Yahweh and her heart with Naomi. This was God’s providence. In addition, when Ruth 2:3 says Ruth “just happened to end up” in Boaz’s field, where she gleaned with the other poor workers, that was God’s providence as well. When Boaz noticed her and heard about her care for Naomi, he asked her to stay in his field, promised to protect her, told her to glean after his young ladies, had a meal with her, and sent her home with abundant grain. Though Naomi was initially skeptical about God’s care for her, even claiming God had opposed her, treated her harshly, and caused her to suffer in Ruth 1:20-21, through Ruth’s faithfulness to her and Boaz’s generosity, she could sense God was moving.

To add to this, Ruth’s benefactor, Boaz, was a kinsman of Elimelech, Naomi’s deceased husband. According to the law, he could buy back the land that Elimelech had sold. Boaz was not strictly obligated under the levirate law to marry Ruth, since it applied directly to Ruth’s husband’s brother (cf. Dt 25:5-6), but as a close kinsman, Boaz could voluntarily act as a redeemer. Ruth could marry any man, but only a kinsman could redeem Ruth’s family’s property and raise a child to carry the name of her deceased husband. When Naomi was considering a husband for Ruth, God’s sovereignty over their circumstances pointed to Boaz. Furthermore, as mentioned, the harvest season was soon to end, and it would be harder for Ruth and Naomi to provide for one another. After the harvest, they would need to rely on their stored food, charity from others, and day labor, which would be limited after harvest season. When considering God’s sovereignty over their situation, including Boaz’s kindness and generosity, the fact that he was a nearby kinsman, and the harvest would end soon, it seemed like the right time to find a husband for Ruth, and that Boaz was the right person.

This is a principle for us to apply in discerning God’s will for our lives as well. Again, God often doesn’t give us dreams, audible words, or miracles to direct us. He may do so at times (especially in crisis situations or a major call), but most times, he works through ordinary circumstances that he sovereingly directs. Ephesians 1:11 says he “accomplishes all things according to the counsel of his will.” And Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Proverbs 16:33 says, “The dice are thrown into the lap, but their every decision is from the Lord.” Even seemingly chance decions like the rolling of the dice and the number it lands on are under God’s control. Everything is, and he uses his sovereign control to bless and guide his people. Though Naomi initially believed God was against her, he was ultimately working out a myriad of circumstances for her and Ruth’s good, and this is true for all believers. Therefore, when seeking to discern God’s will for our lives, we must consider God’s sovereign control of our circumstances, including our hearts, the hearts of others, and events. Philippians 2:13 (NIV) says, “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Part of the way God guides us is by the desires he puts in our hearts—“to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Now certainly, Jeremiah 17:9 teaches, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Our heart left alone will always lead us away from God and his will for our lives. It will lead us into destructive paths. However, when a person is abiding in God’s Word, doing God’s will, worshiping and obeying him, he will guide our hearts into the right paths. He works in us to will and act to fulfill his good purpose (Phil 2:13). Even Naomi’s desire for Ruth to find a husband was no doubt prompted by God, the affection Boaz had shown her, and Ruth’s receptivity to Boaz was all under God’s sovereignty. The fact that Ruth just happened to be in his field, and Boaz just happened to be a kinsman was all part of God’s sovereignty. God was guiding Ruth, Naomi, and Boaz into his good plan for their lives.

Therefore, when seeking to discern God’s will, we must consider God’s sovereignty over our circumstances, including open and closed doors, our hearts, and the hearts of others. No doubt, Naomi could clearly see God’s guiding hand over their circumstances, and therefore, she created a plan to confirm. Would Boaz be Ruth’s husband and their family’s redeemer?

Again, this is an important factor for discerning God’s will. Unfortunately, many don’t see God as in control of their circumstances, including difficult ones, and therefore can’t discern God’s direction through them. Though Pharaoh was at fault for his sin of enslaving and not freeing Israel, Scripture says God hardened his heart (Ex 7:3-4). There may be times when God allows a political leader’s heart to be hardened, an employer’s heart, a spouse’s heart, a parent’s heart, or a child’s heart. Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord like channels of water; he turns it wherever he wants.” We may not understand why, but we must trust God’s sovereignty over the circumstances and the hearts of others. Even disasters and the evil works of people are under his control and being used for a greater purpose. Amos 3:6 says, “If an alarm sounds in a city, do people not fear? If disaster overtakes a city, is the Lord not responsible?” Even the worst thing that ever happened in the world was within God’s sovereign plan for our eternal good, the murder of his Son. In Acts 2:23-24, Peter said this to those who crucified Christ,

this man, who was handed over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you executed by nailing him to a cross at the hands of Gentiles. But God raised him up, having released him from the pains of death, because it was not possible for him to be held in its power.

Therefore, we must consider God’s sovereignty over our circumstances to discern God’s will. What doors has he opened or closed? What is he doing in our hearts and others’ hearts? These things by themselves do not confirm God’s will, but they are an essential part of the discernment process, even as it was for Naomi and Ruth.

Application Question: Why is it so hard to believe in God’s sovereignty especially over difficult or evil circumstances? How has he worked through seemingly bad circumstances, including your failures or the failures of others, for your good? In retrospect, what patterns can you see of God guiding your life that you didn’t recognize at the time? If our hearts are deceitful above all else, how can we discern if God is guiding us through specific desires in our hearts (cf. Jer 17:9, Prov 11:14)?

To Discern God’s Will, We Must Consider Godly Counsel

At that time, Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you so you will be secure. Now Boaz, with whose female servants you worked, is our close relative. Look, tonight he is winnowing barley at the threshing floor. So bathe yourself, rub on some perfumed oil, and get dressed up. Then go down to the threshing floor. But don’t let the man know you’re there until he finishes his meal. When he gets ready to go to sleep, take careful notice of the place where he lies down. Then go, uncover his legs, and lie down beside him. He will tell you what you should do.” Ruth replied to Naomi, “I will do everything you have told me to do.”

Ruth 3:1-5

We must not only notice Naomi’s plan for Ruth but also Ruth’s receptiveness to it. Ruth could have scoffed at the idea of approaching Boaz for marriage. In those days, it was countercultural for a woman to approach a man. However, she didn’t scoff at the plan or offer alternatives. She listened to her older, wiser, mother-in-law. Naomi’s plan wasn’t foolproof, but it was a way to discern God’s will, even if only through a rejection. As mentioned, the Mosaic law required a brother to marry his deceased brother’s widow and raise up a child for her in the deceased name. Deuteronomy 25:5-6 says,

If brothers live together and one of them dies without having a son, the dead man’s wife must not remarry someone outside the family. Instead, her late husband’s brother must go to her, marry her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law. Then the first son she bears will continue the name of the dead brother, thus preventing his name from being blotted out of Israel.

In the case of Ruth, her husband was dead and so was his brother. However, though not required by the law, customarily, this law was extended to the nearest kinsman, if he volunteered to do it. In addition, as we’ll soon see, there was a closer relative than Boaz, so he did not have the initial right to marry Ruth and redeem the deceased’s land (v. 12). Ruth and Boaz getting married was not clearly God’s will, but Naomi created a plan to see if it was.

Naomi told Ruth to bathe herself, put on perfume, and get dressed up (v. 3). Many commentators believe this may have been Naomi telling Ruth to put away her mourning garments to demonstrate to Boaz that she was eligible for marriage. In 2 Samuel 12:20, David did the same thing when he stopped mourning for his son who died. It says, “So David got up from the ground, bathed, put on oil, and changed his clothes. He went to the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then, when he entered his palace, he requested that food be brought to him, and he ate.” It’s very possible that Ruth labored in Boaz’s field in mourning garments to make it clear to everybody she was not eligible. She was a widow still in mourning. Maybe, that’s part of the reason Boaz noticed her so quickly when he initially came to his field in Ruth 2.

After fixing herself up, Ruth was to go to the threshing floor where Boaz and others would be working (v. 3). The threshing floor was typically a large area of hard earth or stone where they crushed the grain in the late afternoon through evening when the Mediterranean Sea’s winds were typically strongest. After they crushed the grain, they would throw it into the air to separate the chaff from the grain. The chaff would blow away in the wind, and the grain, which was heavier, would drop to the ground. Then they would bag it. After the work, they would celebrate and have food. During this time, Ruth was told to wait until Boaz laid down to sleep by the grain. The workers would lay by their grain for two reasons: first, it enabled them to get back to work when the sun rose early in the morning, but it also provided protection from others stealing the grain (cf. 1 Sam 23:1). While Boaz was sleep, Ruth would approach him, uncover his legs or feet (as in the ESV), and lie down. It seems that the purpose of uncovering his legs was so that the cold air would wake him up during the night. And lying at his feet was the posture of a servant, since servants commonly slept at their master’s feet. Ruth was not to demand her rights for Boaz, as a kinsman redeemer, to marry her, but to humbly approach him as a servant to ask for his covering. Certainly, there was danger with this plan. It was dangerous for a woman to be alone at night in a male-dominated society. There was danger that Boaz might consider her approach as a sexual advance. However, they trusted Boaz’s character and God’s sovereignty in the situation.

With all that said, Ruth’s humility and willingness to consider Naomi’s plan is also how God often guides us into his will for our lives. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul describes the church as a body; one person is the hands, another the feet, and another the eyes. Therefore, as a body, we are dependent upon one another. The eye can’t say to the hand, “I don’t need you” (1 Cor 12:21). Likewise, many miss God’s will because essentially they say to others, “I don’t need you! I can figure this out on my own!” Proverbs 11:14 says, “there is success in the abundance of counselors.” Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with abundant advisers they are established.”

Likewise, if we are going to discern God’s will, often God will give it through the counsel of others—godly friends, parents, mentors, and church members. As in Ruth 3, this is especially important in the context of dating/courting. Often, people date by themselves with nobody around which means they’ll often lack the wisdom, insight, and accountability of others. It’s easy for singles to look past major yellow and red flags that others see when people date in groups, instead of by themselves. In addition, singles today often don’t get their parents or spiritual mentors involved in a dating relationship until it is too late. Ideally, when first considering dating someone, it’s great to have parents and/or spiritual mentors praying and giving counsel throughout the process. Now God is gracious and often covers many of our mistakes in the process; however, again, according to Proverbs 11:14, there is success in the abundance of counselors. With major decisions like who to marry, what college or career to go into, attending or leaving a church, or even who to date, it’s ideal to have others’ counsel. God often gives grace, wisdom, and protection through the godly counsel and involvement of others.

Like Ruth, are we humbling ourselves before others to seek and receive their counsel? This is often the way God reveals his will to us. He works through his body.

Application Question: Why is getting the counsel of others so important for discerning God’s will and specifically making major decisions? What makes getting the counsel of others, especially in major decisions or conflicts, difficult? Why is this so important in the context of dating and marriage? Who are your abundance of counselors? In what ways are you allowing God to use you to counsel others?

To Discern God’s Will, We Must Consider God’s Word

At that time, Naomi, her mother-in-law, said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you so you will be secure. Now Boaz, with whose female servants you worked, is our close relative. Look, tonight he is winnowing barley at the threshing floor.

Ruth 3:1-2

When Naomi was counseling Ruth about securing her future through marriage, her advise was based on two Mosaic laws. The first one, as mentioned, was the law of the kinsman redeemer given in Leviticus 25:25 (NLT). It says, “If one of your fellow Israelites falls into poverty and is forced to sell some family land, then a close relative should buy it back for him.” God was the owner of Canaan, and he chose to give the land to Israel, with each tribe owning a portion. In order for that tribe to not lose the land God gave them, if a member of that tribe fell into poverty and sold the land, he would regain it on the year of Jubilee, the fiftieth year after seven consecutive sabbath years (Lev 25:28). However, if that person wanted to regain the land earlier, a kinsman could purchase the land on behalf of his relative. This is what probably happened with Elimelech, Naomi’s deceased husband. Most likely, when the famine came, he sold his portion of the land and moved to Moab with his wife and two sons.

In addition, as considered previously, God required a brother to marry his deceased brother’s widow and to raise up a son to carry on his name (Dt 25:5-6). Though not required by the law but customarily practiced, a kinsman could volunteer to do this if there was no living brother. Furthermore, unrelated to this specific scenario, the kinsman redeemer was also responsible for avenging the blood of a relative that was murdered (Num 35:19) and buying a relative out of slavery (Lev 25:48). In general, the kinsman redeemer protected the family.

When Naomi was seeking God’s will for Ruth and who she should marry, Naomi relied on God’s law and not her wisdom or ingenuity. Likewise, if we are going to discern God’s will, we must rely on God’s Word as well. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Paul said this about God’s Word: “Every scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the person dedicated to God may be capable and equipped for every good work.” God’s Word equips us for every good work, including discerning God’s will, finding a godly mate, parenting, being a good spouse, working through conflict, leading, and serving. Likewise, in Psalm 119:105, David said, “Your word is a lamp to walk by, and a light to illumine my path.” Being in God’s Word and applying it to our lives is like having the lights on, so we can clearly see what steps to take. When not in God’s Word, it’s like being in the dark. We’ll lack clarity, direction, and peace on many decisions.

For example, when someone mistreats us, the natural desire is to get even, fight back, or even cut them off, but Romans 12:19-21 says:

Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing this you will be heaping burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

As we seek to serve that person, it allows God to slowly and at times swiftly overcome the evil in their hearts, so they can be transformed. In addition, by blessing them, even if it is only through prayer, it often transforms our hearts. Because of sin, we will always encounter conflict in this world, in work, in friendships, and even in our families. Scripture helps us to discern how to respond in the best manner—one that brings God’s grace on us and those we’re in conflict with.

With our finances, Scripture teaches us that all our money is God’s and that we are just stewards of it. Psalm 24:1 says, “The Lord owns the earth and all it contains, the world and all who live in it.” Without the understanding that God owns our money and us, we’ll be prone to unwisely use our money, including getting in all types of debt and using our money on various luxuries and creature comforts, instead of using it sacrificially to build God’s kingdom. Matthew 6:19-20 says,

Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and devouring insect destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and devouring insect do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal.

As we are in Scripture, it helps us turn the lights on, so we can discern God’s will in various areas of our lives and decisions we need to make.

With parenting our children, the book of Proverbs is essentially a parenting manual. Throughout, we see parents (mothers and fathers) giving wisdom to their children about life. Also, it gives general parenting counsel. For example, Proverbs 13:24 says, “The one who spares his rod hates his child, but the one who loves his child is diligent in disciplining him.” Many parents struggle with disciplining their kids because they were disciplined in anger as a child, because they have seen it used in an abusive manner, because secular psychology disagrees with it, or simply because they struggle with it being loving. However, God is good father, and he disciplines us when we are sin. He does that through correction/rebuke—telling us when something is wrong—and chastisement—allowing us to go through consequences or hardship for our sin to turn us away from it. Hebrews 12:5-6 says, “And have you forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as sons? ‘My son, do not scorn the Lord’s discipline or give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves and chastises every son he accepts.’” He corrects and chastises or rebukes and disciplines all those he loves, and so do parents seeking his guidance and obeying him. Our primary discipline should be correction, where we teach and rebuke our children when they do wrong. However, if they persist in wrongdoing after rebuke, we should chastise them, disciplining them in a stronger way, including corporal punishment with the rod of correction (Prov 13:24).

Scripture even gives us counsel for our mental health. When Adam sinned in the garden, he immediately began to struggle with mental health issues. He said to God, “I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid” (Gen 3:10). For the first time, humanity began to struggle with fear because their perfect relationship with God, others, and creation was damaged. Now, we all struggle with fear and anxiety to various degrees. Proverbs 24:25 (NKJV) says, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression.” And Scripture gives us remedies to deal with anxieties that weigh us down. Philippians 4:6-7 says,

Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

By praying about everything, which we don’t do, giving thanks in everything, which we also don’t do, even with good things, and making requests to God known in everything, God promises to give us his peace, peace that surpasses understanding. Because many of us are overwhelmed with anxieties instead of God’s peace, we’re commonly led away from God’s will for our lives. One of the most common phrases in Scripture is, “Do not be afraid, do not fear, and do not worry!” Fear is not God’s will for our lives; therefore, Scripture teaches us how to deal with our anxieties and have God’s peace. Second Timothy 1:7 says, “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

With that said, as far as God’s Word being one of the primary ways God guides us, Scripture tells us exactly what to do or not do in moral situations, and when it comes to things not directly addressed in Scripture, it gives us wise principles, as we are considering in this narrative. When Naomi was seeking rest through marriage, for Ruth, she considered God’s direction through the Mosaic law, which was the biblical revelation available to them. We have the complete revelation of Scripture and should thoroughly consider it as we seek God’s will in various situations.

Are we relying on God’s Word to guide us into God’s perfect will? To not be faithfully reading and studying Scripture and hearing it faithfully preached and explained to us is to walk in the dark, and that darkness will cause us to miss God’s will for many things in our lives, including our marriage, parenting, work, finances, and ministry. God’s Word is meant to be our clear and consistent guide.

Application Question: Why is it so important to study and rely on God’s Word when seeking to discern God’s will? In what ways is decision-making without being in God’s Word like walking in the dark (cf. Ps 119:105)? How has God guided you on major decisions directly and indirectly through God’s Word?

To Discern God’s Will, We Must Often Take Steps of Faith

Ruth replied to Naomi, “I will do everything you have told me to do.” So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law had instructed her to do. When Boaz had finished his meal and was feeling satisfied, he lay down to sleep at the far end of the grain heap. Then Ruth crept up quietly, uncovered his legs, and lay down beside him. In the middle of the night he was startled and turned over. Now he saw a woman lying beside him! He said, “Who are you?” She replied, “I am Ruth, your servant. Marry your servant, for you are a guardian of the family interests.”

Ruth 3:5-9

After hearing Naomi’s plan, Ruth agreed to follow her instructions. After washing up, changing her clothes, and putting on perfume, she went to the threshing floor at night. Boaz was eating as Naomi predicted. After he finished his meal, he went and laid down at the end of his grain. Then Ruth “uncovered his legs,” or “feet” (NIV, ESV). As mentioned, it seems that the purpose was so the nighttime cold air on his legs would eventually wake him up. In the middle of the night, he woke up and noticed a woman “beside him” (v. 8). He asked her, “Who are you?” She replied, “I am Ruth, your servant. Marry your servant, for you are a guardian of the family interests” (v. 9). More literally, this can be translated, “Spread your wings over your servant, for you are a redeemer” as in the ESV. In that context, the symbolism represented marriage (cf. Ez 16:8). Ruth’s request was essentially what Boaz prayed for Ruth when he initially met her, after hearing about her generous care for Naomi. In Ruth 2:12 (ESV), he prayed, “The Lord repay you for what you have done, and a full reward be given you by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge!” Ruth was asking him to be God’s means of sheltering and protecting her, just as he had prayed. By following Naomi’s plan and approaching Boaz, Ruth was taking a step of faith. Approaching a man’s bed in the middle of the night was risky. As mentioned, she could have been misunderstood and considered an immoral woman. She was also at risk of simply being rejected. It was a step of faith to discern God’s will, and we’ll commonly have to do the same. James 2:17 says, “So also faith, if it does not have works, is dead being by itself.” There is a type of false or unwise faith that is simply a cloak for laziness. Often, to discern God’s will, we’ll need to take steps of faith to determine where God is leading and how he will provide. If we need a job, we’ll have to make plans like Naomi and Ruth by discerning which jobs might be best and applying for them. We won’t know God’s will until he opens or closes doors. It must be remembered that inactivity is not equivalent to great faith, as some might think, and oftentimes, it demonstrates a lack of true faith.

We get a good picture of the need to be active in faith to discern God’s will in Acts 16 when Paul was traveling in Asia on his second missionary journey. Acts 16-6-10 says,

They went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been prevented by the Holy Spirit from speaking the message in the province of Asia. When they came to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them to do this, so they passed through Mysia and went down to Troas. A vision appeared to Paul during the night: A Macedonian man was standing there urging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us!” After Paul saw the vision, we attempted immediately to go over to Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to proclaim the good news to them.

As we consider Paul’s journey, it’s clear that he and his associates didn’t know exactly where God wanted them to go. After revisiting the churches in Phrygia and Galatia, they were prevented by the Spirit from ministering in the province of Asia, specifically western Asia Minor. They then attempted to go northeast into Bithynia, but the Spirit stopped them again. Then, finally, they had a vision of a Macedonian man urging them to come to Macedonia. Because of that, they concluded God called them to travel there. When it says the Spirit forbade them from ministering in those two places in Asia Minor, we don’t know exactly how that happened. Did they hear God’s audible voice forbidding them, was it simply a closed door, like them being aggressively persecuted, or was there some other type of event that made travel difficult? We don’t know. Even when they received the vision of the Macedonian man, it doesn’t seem like God’s will was crystal clear to them. Again, verse 10 says, “After Paul saw the vision, we attempted immediately to go over to Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to proclaim the good news to them.” After considering the closed doors and Paul’s vision, they reasoned God was calling them to Macedonia, which was in Europe. This is often how it will be when seeking to discern God’s will. We’ll pray, apply here, reach out there, a door closes here, a door closes there, and then eventually a door or some doors start to open, and we’ll prayerfully move forward, while trusting God is guiding us. Proverbs 3:6 says, “Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight.” The NLT version translates this, “He will show you which path to take.” We can trust that, as we are seeking God and submitting to him, he will guide us, even when it’s not clear, but often we’ll need to take steps of faith. Along those steps, God will close and open doors, and eventually confirm his will.

Certainly, there is a time and place to wait on God. After Ruth was active by approaching Boaz in faith, she next had to wait in faith because there was a closer kinsman. Being active is part of living by faith. We can be active because we believe God will guide us, including closing the wrong doors and opening the right ones. There is a time to wait in faith and to be active in faith, but we’ll need wisdom and prayer to discern which type of faith God is calling us to. James 1:5 says, “But if anyone is deficient in wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without reprimand, and it will be given to him.” The word “ask” is in the present tense, meaning we need to keep on asking. We should pray, pray, and pray again, so we can have wisdom on when to be active and when to wait. We should also seek godly counsel as well. When Ruth moved to Israel, she did not immediately pursue a husband. She waited; however, after being counseled by her wiser, older mother-in-law, she actively pursued a mate. Likewise, we must pray and seek counsel as we discern when and how to take steps of faith and when to wait.

To add to this, when God called Abraham to leave his family and go to the promised land, God did not show him where to go until he left in faith. Genesis 12:1 says, “Now the Lord said to Abram, ‘Go out from your country, your relatives, and your father’s household to the land that I will show you.” Likewise, many times God will not show us the next destination until we take steps of faith as well. Maybe, that means doing research on a career or new place to move our family, applying for a job, working on a new way to administrate our business, or even something as simple as meeting up with someone wiser and more experienced than us to get their counsel. As we take steps of faith, God will close a door, open a door, confirm the path we’re on, or redirect us. That’s what God did with Paul on his second missionary journey. Paul was not wrong for attempting to minister in western Asia. It was part of God’s process of leading him to Macedonia, where he founded the Philippian church, the first church in Europe.

How is God calling us to take steps of faith? Is this a season to wait in faith or a season to be active in faith? Often, we’ll need to take steps of faith to discern God’s will and direction, just like Naomi and Ruth did.

Application Question: How can we discern when to take a step of faith or to wait in faith? In what ways have you seen God clarify his will as you took steps of faith? How should we best respond when God closes a door we were really hoping he would open or keep open? How is God calling you to take a step of faith in this season to discern his will or more effectively do his will?

To Discern God’s Will, We Must Develop Godly Character

He said, “May you be rewarded by the Lord, my dear! This act of devotion is greater than what you did before. For you have not sought to marry one of the young men, whether rich or poor. Now, my dear, don’t worry! I intend to do for you everything you propose, for everyone in the village knows that you are a worthy woman. Now yes, it is true that I am a guardian, but there is another guardian who is a closer relative than I am. Remain here tonight. Then in the morning, if he agrees to marry you, fine, let him do so. But if he does not want to do so, I promise, as surely as the Lord lives, to marry you. Sleep here until morning.” So she slept beside him until morning. She woke up while it was still dark. Boaz thought, “No one must know that a woman visited the threshing floor.” Then he said, “Hold out the shawl you are wearing and grip it tightly.” As she held it tightly, he measured out about sixty pounds of barley into the shawl and put it on her shoulders. Then he went into town, and she returned to her mother-in-law…

Ruth 3:10-16a

After Ruth asked Boaz to fulfill the role of a redeemer and marry her, Boaz responded positively by praying for God to reward her for asking (v. 10). He also said that her act of devotion (or “kindness”, ESV, NIV) in asking him to marry was greater than her initial devotion (v. 10). The word “devotion” is the word “hesed” often used of God’s covenant love for his people. No doubt, Boaz could see God’s love and devotion in Ruth, both in her past and present actions. Ruth’s initial devotion probably referred to her leaving her land and family to care for her mother-in-law, Naomi. However, asking Boaz to marry was a greater kindness because by marrying a redeemer, Ruth would be able to provide for her mother-in-law long term and potentially raise up grandchildren for her. It also was a greater kindness in that Ruth chose Boaz. Ruth was most likely very young. Typically, women got married soon after puberty, around ages fifteen to eighteen. Since Ruth did not have children with her previous husband before he died, she probably was still very young, in her late teens to mid twenties. Though she was a foreigner, there were many young men, whether rich or poor, who would have been more suitable for her. Boaz was probably at least two times her age, in his forties to sixties. He was probably never married or widowed. Therefore, he deemed her proposal as a great kindness to him, as well as to Naomi.

In verse 11, Boaz said: “Now, my dear, don’t worry! I intend to do for you everything you propose, for everyone in the village knows that you are a worthy woman.” Boaz planned to try to marry her, not because she was young and beautiful, but primarily because she was a “worthy woman.” The word “worthy” is the same word used in Proverbs 31:10 of the ideal woman. It says, “Who can find a wife of noble (or worthy) character? For her value is far more than rubies.” Ruth’s sacrifice, hard work, and faithfulness in caring for Naomi had earned her a reputation for being godly. In addition, in Ruth 2:1, when it says Boaz was a “wealthy, prominent man,” it’s the same wording in the Hebrew. It can be translated as “worthy man” (ESV). Boaz and Ruth were both people of character. Ruth wanted to follow God’s law and marry within Naomi’s family as the law required, and Boaz wanted to obey God’s will as well. Boaz also showed his godly character by protecting Ruth and himself from even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:22). In verses 14-16, when he sent Ruth home early in the morning to make sure nobody saw her at the threshing floor, he was protecting his and her reputations from slander and gossip. If people saw her leaving his bed in the morning, they might have assumed ungodly acts happened, which would have tarnished their reputations. This was especially important because there was a closer kinsman than Boaz. If a rumor spread that Ruth was an immoral woman, that might have stopped the nearer kinsman from considering her as a prospective spouse and harmed her hopes for long-term security. No doubt, Boaz, as a wise and godly man, considered all this. Furthermore, Boaz showed his gracious character and God’s hesed by giving Ruth sixty pounds (twenty-seven kilos) of grain before she returned to her mother-in-law (v. 15). Ruth and Boaz were evenly yoked for marriage because they were both godly and demonstrated God’s hesed to one another and others. Their godly character stands out even more when considering the historical context of the narrative, the judges stage. Repeated twice in the book of Judges is the refrain: “In those days Israel had no king. Each man did what he considered to be right” (Judg 17:6, 21:25). It was an ungodly time in Israel. Boaz and Ruth were godly anomalies in that ungodly Israelite culture.

With all that said, this gives us another important principle for discerning God’s will. We must develop godly character, including practicing righteousness and turning away from sin (1 Thess 5:22). If we are unfaithful with God’s revealed will, as reflected in our character, how we speak, think, and act, we will commonly struggle to discern God’s will. This is taught in many verses. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.” As we choose to not be conformed to the world culture and its sinful ways and worldviews and instead renew our mind according to God’s Word, we’ll be able to test and discern God’s will. Sin hinders our ability to know God’s will, while obedience enables us to do so. In John 7:17, Christ taught something similar. He said, “If anyone wants to do God’s will, he will know about my teaching, whether it is from God or whether I speak from my own authority.” Those listening to his teaching were trying to discern if he was the messiah or some false prophet. In order to discern, they had to have a right heart, a heart that wanted to obey God. An obedient heart enables us to better understand God’s Word, apply it to our lives, and discern God’s guidance in areas outside of God’s Word. As mentioned previously, Proverbs 3:6 (NLT) says it this way: “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Therefore, while seeking to discern God’s will, we must ask ourselves, “Is our character right before God? Are there any areas of unrepentant sin and rebellion that might hinder our ability to discern God’s leading?” Ruth and Boaz were both people of character and, therefore, willing to obey God’s Word by getting married, in accordance with the law’s expectation for the kinsman redeemer. Again, Ruth could have chafed at marrying an older man and being the one to propose, and Boaz could have chafed at marrying a young, Moabite widow. However, they both did not. They were open to obeying God’s Word, which prescribed a path to care for a widow of a relative and honor a deceased relative. Ungodly character and unrepentant sin would have hindered both their ability to discern and do God’s will.

Not only is developing godly character important for discerning God’s will in general, but specifically in finding a godly spouse. Again, when Boaz said he would try to marry Ruth, he didn’t point to her beauty or age but her godly character. In verse 11, he said: “Now, my dear, don’t worry! I intend to do for you everything you propose, for everyone in the village knows that you are a worthy woman.” She was a worthy woman. Again, Solomon’s mom said this to him in Proverbs 31:10 and 30 (ESV), “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels…Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Essentially, she said, if you can find a woman like this, grab her! Charm (chemistry) and beauty (attraction) are much less important. Practically, this means it should be the priority of singles to find someone who has put their faith in Christ and is living that faith out consistently. Scripture clearly forbids believers from marrying nonbelievers. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, Paul said this about widows, which applies to all singles seeking a partner in marriage, “A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes (only someone in the Lord).” For marriage, believers should seek someone of like faith and who is living out that faith.

To add to this, to truly discern the character of a potential mate, we must have clear vision. Matthew 7:1-5 pictures unconfessed sin in our lives as having a speck or plank in our eyes. The implication of this metaphor is that unconfessed sin negatively affects our ability to properly view life and people. Therefore, to properly assess a person’s character for marriage, singles must have clear vision through living a godly life. Unconfessed sin clouds one’s view, which will lead a single to accept compromise and character flaws in a potential mate that might severely hurt a marriage. Furthermore, having godly character is not only important for finding a godly spouse but also attracting him or her. Again, the reason Boaz stated for being willing to marry Ruth was not beauty but her godly character (v. 11). Everyone knew she was a worthy woman, and that is what attracted him to her. Singleness is a season for being devoted to the Lord in a greater way because people are free from the constraints of marriage and parenting, but also it is a season to prepare for marriage (since that is God’s calling for most) by growing in character and servanthood. As mentioned, when Ruth laid at the bottom of Boaz’s bed, that was the posture of a servant. In the ancient world, servants commonly slept at the feet of their masters, especially if they were staying in the same room. Ruth’s posture was appropriate for a person seeking marriage, since marriage is all about servanthood. It is serving by seeking someone else’s good over our own, our spouse, and later our children. In contrast, selfishness and pride will quickly destroy a marriage, as individuals put their own interests and viewpoints over their spouses’.

To discern God’s will, we must develop godly character, including practicing righteousness and turning away from sin in all its forms. Often, our problem in discerning God’s will is not a lack of information but a lack of obedience and willingness to obey whatever God reveals. As we cultivate a right heart and walk in obedience to God’s revealed will, he will reveal more to us. Psalm 25:14 (NIV) says, “The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them.” Ruth and Boaz were both faithful followers of the Lord, and God made his will known to them as they both sought to discern it.

Are we walking in obedience to God’s general commands, as found in his Word, for how we think, speak, and act? If not, it will be hard discern God’s specific commands, which may not be revealed in Scripture.

Application Question: Why is having godly character important for discerning God’s will, and how does having unconfessed sin in our lives hinder our ability to discern it? In pursuing a godly spouse, why is it important for singles to make sure that they have the appropriate character first? How can ungodly character affect the discernment process and lead to making drastic compromises and mistakes?

To Discern God’s Will, We Must Trust and Patiently Wait on God

and she returned to her mother-in-law. When Ruth returned to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, “How did things turn out for you, my daughter?” Ruth told her about all the man had done for her. She said, “He gave me these sixty pounds of barley, for he said to me, ‘Do not go to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’ ” Then Naomi said, “Stay put, my daughter, until you know how the matter turns out. For the man will not rest until he has taken care of the matter today.”

Ruth 3:16-18

When Ruth returned to her mother-in-law, Naomi, she told her about how things had positively unfolded with Boaz and showed her the sixty pounds of grain. Naomi immediately responded, “Stay put, my daughter, until you know how the matter turns out. For the man will not rest until he has taken care of the matter today” (v. 18). Ruth and Naomi had done their part in discerning God’s will. Naomi had discerned through God’s sovereign control over events, like Ruth ending up in Boaz’s field, Boaz generously providing for her, and him being a near kinsman, that he could be a good marriage partner for Ruth. She put together a plan, and Ruth listened to it and followed it. Ruth took a step of faith in approaching Boaz, though it wasn’t culturally normal for a woman to propose to a man, and Boaz agreed to marry her if the nearer relative refused. Maybe, the nearer relative was Boaz’s uncle, older brother, or a closer cousin. The text doesn’t say. Either way, Naomi and Ruth now needed to wait. This is common in following God and pursuing his will. Often, we’ll pray, get counsel, plan, take steps of faith, and have to wait on God to confirm his will, and then we’ll need to trust God with whatever he decides or allows. Waiting is often the hardest part of discerning God’s will. It’s in the waiting season that we’re tempted to doubt God and his goodness, and even take things into our own hands. This is normal and is to be expected. Though the waiting season is difficult, and at times requires intense faith and patience, God does some of his greatest work in waiting seasons. In the waiting season, God moves many things into place to reveal and fulfill his perfect will. He often cleanses us of selfish desires, even to the point where we’re willing to accept whatever God’s will is, including things we would have never considered previously. He also develops godly character traits in us, like patience and perseverance. James 1:4 says, “And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, not deficient in anything.” Endurance can also be translated “patience” (NKJV). We must let patience do a perfect work in us as God matures us through it. Because of the importance of patience, it’s not commonly a step in the discernment process that God allows us to skip. It's too valuable. Even after God’s clarifies his will, we’ll commonly have to wait longer for him to fulfill it. For example, when God revealed to Abraham that he was going to have a child, he had to wait at least twenty-five years. When God showed Joseph through a dream that he was called to leadership and his family would bow down before him, he had to wait at least twenty years for it (thirteen till he became second in command in Egypt, and at least seven after the years of plenty for his family to bow down to him during the famine). When Samuel anointed David and prophesied that he would be the king of Israel, he had to wait around fifteen years till he became the king of Judah and longer to become the king of all of Israel. Often we’ll have to wait to discern God’s will, and often we’ll have to wait for God to fulfill it. It’s an essential part of God’s sanctification process; therefore, we should not be surprised if God regularly puts us in waiting seasons. This is often the hardest part of both discerning and doing God’s will because it takes faith and patience, sometimes over a long period of time. Hebrews 6:12 says, “so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and perseverance inherit the promises.” Likewise, Hebrews 10:36 says, “For you need endurance in order to do God’s will and so receive what is promised.” Psalm 46:10 (NIV) says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Ruth and Naomi were active in creating a plan and executing it to discern God’s will, and at this point, they were called to simply wait to see what God would do. Likewise, we’ll commonly have to wait in faith to discern God’s will after being active in faith. We will apply for jobs in faith, and then wait to see what doors God opens and closes. Some will apply for entrance into several colleges, and then wait to discern God’s will. For those planning for “retirement,” they will plan diligently and try to save enough for the later years when they might lack the strength or health to work, and then they will wait on and trust in God, who is their ultimate provider. In the midst of both our activity and waiting, we must trust God with his revealed will or the outcome he allows. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.” Also, Isaiah 40:31 gives this promise: “But those who wait for the Lord’s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired.”God strengthens those who faithfully wait on him. Are we trusting God and waiting for him to reveal and complete his will? His will is perfect and good for us, even if it is delayed, difficult, or confusing. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

Application Question: Why is waiting common in both discerning and doing God’s will? Why is waiting so hard, and what are the benefits of it? What idols or wrong desires has God exposed through specific waiting seasons? What virtues has God developed and lessons has he taught you in various waiting seasons? What does God currently have you waiting on?

Conclusion

How can we discern God’s will? As we consider how Naomi sought a husband for Ruth, we gain general principles about discerning God’s will. Most times, God doesn’t guide us in dramatic ways but through ordinary means, as he did with Naomi and Ruth.

1. To Discern God’s Will, We Must Consider God’s Providence Over Circumstances

2. To Discern God’s Will, We Must Consider Godly Counsel

3. To Discern God’s Will, We Must Consider God’s Word

4. To Discern God’s Will, We Must Often Take Steps of Faith

5. To Discern God’s Will, We Must Develop Godly Character

6. To Discern God’s Will, We Must Trust and Patiently Wait on God

Application Question: What stood out most in the text/study, and how is God calling you to apply it?

Prayer Prompts

• Pray for God to guide us into his perfect will for our lives, through his sovereignty over circumstances, through godly counsel, the revelation of his Word, and wise steps of faith.

• Pray for God to give us grace to patiently wait on him, trust him in the waiting season, and grow in his character as we wait.

• Pray for God to develop our character, empower us, and use us greatly for his kingdom work in both ordinary and superordinary ways.

• Pray for God to prepare godly spouses for the singles in our church, that he would make them more godly as they wait, that he would draw them together in his perfect time, and use them greatly for his kingdom purposes.

• Pray for God to strengthen, protect, and heal the existing marriages, that husbands would love their wives like Christ loves the church, that wives would submit to their husbands as unto the Lord, that they would forgive each other, be gentle with each other, serve each other, and serve God and his people together.